i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
