Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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