So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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