so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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