Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
