I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
