Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
