Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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