all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
