So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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