I'm gonna have a badass scar
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
