Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just gift wrapped bread.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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