rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He has the fingertips of a God
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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