Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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