woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
