An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
