dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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