k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
