like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
