The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My ass is underappreciated
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
