ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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