i just google imaged poop.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
