She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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