Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
