That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
