I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
