we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize