watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
