No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Holy sore nipples Batman
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
