Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
