Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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