You made me cry and you don't even care
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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