I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
