just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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