I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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