i wish starbucks made bloody marys
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
