I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize