Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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