Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
