So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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