i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
