i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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