he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
