just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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