Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
