Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
