Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
