Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
