We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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