sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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