STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
