We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
