the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm like, not good at living.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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