It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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