You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
