I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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