Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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