This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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