Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
