so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
