i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
high people should be assigned attendants
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
