blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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