pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
