i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
