ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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