when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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