why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
