I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
