You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
