I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
