cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
