its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
