The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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