hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
