Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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