Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
