And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
