so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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