I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
