hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
