She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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