Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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