I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
